The room

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What more can be said about this gem. The only competing movie for all time b movie junk is birdemic. They try their best to make a straight movie and then fail spectacularly.

Never watch this alone either.

So the main guy johnny is having relationship trouble with his slut girlfriend. ┬áBut who cares. Here’s some character traits:

  • Johnny laughs at anything. And he starts every sentence with “oh hi”
  • Denny is a friend or something that wants to bang johnnys girl. And then tell johnny this. Fuck.
  • The girl bang johnnys best friend mark
  • Mark is banging his friends girl
  • The mother has cancer and no one gives a shit

So watch it. Make a drinking game out of it too. Everytime they throw a ball around, take a shot.

 

Deadly prey

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The most awesome movie ever. Danton is Deadly prey and he fucks everyone up cos he is badass.

The bad guys are training for something. And the way they train is by kidnapping random people from a town nearby. The boss of the bad guys also kill his own men. Usually the boss will kill one guy to make an example to prevent disobedience. This idiot kills like half his men. Danton could just wait it out and be victorious.

Cameron mitchell is in here. And he is a gem. He asked a guy “are you a friend or foe?” The bad guy says he is a friend. And cameron kills him anyways. Then he gives the robot actor michael michaelson a long speech about the meek fucking up the rich who sit in their penthouses. I dont remember. But its gold.

The best reason to watch this is for the end. Danton breaks off a bad guy’s arm and then beats the bad guy with that arm.

Theres also a 2013 deadliest prey movie. We need to watch it. Its supposed to be a b movie too.

Mystics of bali

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There’s this American journalist that wants to know more about black magic. So she becomes a witch. Obviously.

Her teacher is that aunty in the picture with the most annoying fucking witch cackle ever. Always with the laughing. No fucking reason.

You can see the strings where the props “float” and when the american loses her head to float around, her guts and organs are still attached. Its not a simple floaty head.

Then more laughing. Fuck this shit.