Hollywood cop

20151203_065739

This movie was made by the same guy that made Samurai cop. Except that this movie is better because its got Cameron Mitchell.

The plot, as far as we could tell, was that some bad guys kidnapped a kid that was washing his goat, and then demanded six million dollars ransom to return the kid. The parents that have to fulfil the ransom were a single mom that didnt have a job, and a dead beat father that was having sexy time with three other girls. So… why these people? They aren’t worth anything. We dont know. Why 6m$? We dont know? They didn’t have a reason to want that money. They could have even asked for 100 bucks and it would have had the same plot.

We found this movie on youtube and the uploader has english subtitles (to an english audio track). But the subtitles included additional things like music notes when music was playing, “[vicious slapping]” when someone got slapped around viciously, “whap”, “thud”. So obviously there is a market for b movies targeted at deaf people. Who knew?

Memorable moments:

  • one of the bad guys was italian, so his name was ‘spa-ghe-ti’
  • racist dialogue to asian waiter
  • kid didnt want to come inside the house because he wasnt done washing his goat.
  • kid suffers no trauma and has no fear as his kidnapper shout at him.
  • one shot of the hollywood sign and no other indicators that this is hollywood
  • one bad guy named Animal, is rough with girls and laughs all the time.
  • the buddy cop duo was named Turkey and Jaguar
  • Cameron mitchell was drunk. And it was awesome. He needed more screen time.
  • cop tells an arab man right after his wife was raped: “hey, i know he just fucked your wife, but what did he look like?”
  • arab man with a machete cliche

So back to the plot. Why did anyone do anything in this movie? We dont know why the kidnap took place. We dont know why these two cops are partners. We dont know why the arab man sub plot was put in because they conclude it immediately and it adds nothing to the story.

4.2 on imdb. Watch it. its awesome.