Double Dragon

VG-Double-Dragon-cast

1994 was an important year. The Jean Claude van Damme Street Fighter movie was released a few weeks after this. So is Double Dragon the movie that kicked off all the video game movies? Not quite. That honour sits with Mario Bros. That Dennis Hopper movie. This was only #2 on the list. The list is about 33 movies long from 1993 to 2016. Japan and TV and animated have their own lists too.

Other things that happened in 1994 that I remember:

  • Nelson Mandela was released from 27 years of imprisonment.
  • Netscape Navigator was released and became dominant.
  • OJ and Bronco.
  • Some cruise ship went up in flames near Somalia. It was the Achille Lauro.
  • Ayrton Senna was killed.
  • Satellite TV started.
  • Kurt Cobain stopped living.

And Double Dragon. It had the lovely Alyssa Milano who, at the time, was only known for “Who’s the boss?” TV show. Mark Dacascos who will, in 1995, be in Mortal Kombat, and almost all the other kung fu movies. Just like Shang tsung, who doesn’t act in this. The next star is Scott Wolf who was a nobody to me at the time I watched this. IMDB says he was a random thug in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 1990. Later in life he gets more fame. The biggest star is in this movie Robert Patrick who we all know as the T1000 from Terminator 2.

This movie is exactly like the arcade game except when it has virtually nothing in common with the game.  When you played the game in two-player mode with your friend then it was really Double Dragon. Normally, people like me who have no friends when they were young would play it in single player mode. So Single Dragon really. Anyways, I remember the game having two guys in Canadian suits (all denim attire) and they walk around from level to level fighting bikers and a boss with a chain. I wasn’t very good at the game and don’t know how it looks towards the end. There wasnt any shit about Kogu Sugo (Robert Patrick) or a split medallion or swords or a cute girl or the fact that one guy was a bit Asian and the other was a bit red-necky.

The short version of this is that there is a good guy that has a half of a medallion and finds out it is magical and now looks for the other half. But he doesn’t have to try that hard because there is a bad guys that has the other half and is looking for his missing piece. They meet, they fight, good guys fumble, bad guy fumbles, good guys win.

Fight scenes sucked, acting was forgettable, and the plot was thin. Nothing stood out for us in this movie except one or two scenes where they show what LA looks like after a flood. Lovely paintings of famous buildings in a state of ruin.

So why was this movie made? I think that some guy painted the ruined LA, Robert Patrick saw it and wanted to buy it but the only condition of sale was to appear as the antagonist in a movie that has nothing to do with a video game but uses its name.

This movie ruined my childhood. Not because I see that its junk now, but the fact that it brought back memories of disappointment of my childhood. Even then, from the start of it, it didn’t look like the game I liked.

Do not watch.