Foodfight

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This movie is so bad, it will make you kill a colony of ants.

Usually I would start off with the year in which this movie was made. But in this case, its more of a wide range than a few weeks to make. Production started in 2002. The guy in charge was Lawrence Kasanoff and the last work he had completed was a Mortal Kombat series in 1999. His IMDB page credits him with about 6 of Mortal Kombat productions. Two of which were series. We have a review of the 1995 one. So three years goes by and he’s done nothing. He starts this shit probably because he thought he was good at animation, from all that Mortal Kombat crap. And Pixar was making money too so he probably thought he could ride that wave. He rounded up the famous names at the time. Charlie Sheen, Ava Longoria, Hillary Duff, Doc Brown, Wayne Brady and so on. Made this turd. Realised its shit. Claimed that the hard drives were stolen. Fucked around for the next 10 years trying to recreate it. I don’t know if the voice work was recreated too or if that was left and now they needed animation to match to the sound. Whatever. This costs 45m USD in production and made close to $0. So even before you read about this movie, you know its bad.

Whats it about? There is this supermarket, at night (like Night at the Museum) all the mascots of the products come alive. Think Mr Tiger from Kelloggs Frosties. Its like a city with people doing regular stuff. Who knows whats regular for a mascot that magically came into existence. Then there is a bad guy that has an army and wants to replace all the brands with a “Brand X” and thus killing off the mascots. The main good guy that foils this plan is a dog named Dex Dogtective.

I could go on for 10 hours on whats wrong with it and ask why anyone if doing anything. But I wont. Everyone on the internet is saying the same thing. Instead, I want to dig into Kasanoff’s head a little. I think that the 2002 movie was the bait. And Brand X would have been replaced with an actual brand after they go on a road show and show off their mad skills. Once they found the brand, they would do a severe and expensive rewrite and then release that movie. The only problem was that after a year or two, no one showed interest in being Brand X. Also no one wanted to be the good team so that they could shame their rival as the name of Brand X. I’m also guessing that the investors would have taken the loss and admitted it was a shit movie but they probably suspected Kas to have taken the money and ran. So they demanded that it be released. He then scrambled to put an animation on the voice and then released it. Extensive use of copy-paste was made. I don’t know what really went down but 45m dollars is a lot of money for some really really poor work. Probably the worst animated movie ever made.

It’s not even fun to watch. Stay away. Or watch it because it on your bucket list of badness.