American Badass

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This movie serves as a love letter to the concept of ‘cash grabbing’. It was released in late September 2012, which looks like the time of the debates of the 2012 USA elections in early November 2012. That is about one month.

Our hero is president Roosevelt, played by unfunny Barry Bostwick. he has to save the world from Japan, Italy and Germany. The presidents and people of these countries are werewolfs. They go around biting people and converting them. Roosevelt personally joins the battle with a wheelchair that has machine guns and silver bullets.

Usually these types of spoof movies have the right events at framework and then events that lead up to it are alternative to reality and the characters are free to do whatever they like and in ‘deus ex machina’ style, the event results match reality. This allows the writers much freedom to make the characters and scripts and dialogue as funny as possible because the McGuffin will always fix the results. Not this movie. The writer is Ross Patterson and was probably asleep at his computer. Nothing funny happens at all. Looking at IMDB, there are 14 producers. The chances that they meddled with the script is high. This could makes Ross a ‘yes-man’, but he’s also a producer. So fuck him. I didn’t see Barry on that list. He’s the true victim. Barry the patsy.

There is no information on the budget or the revenue. I would take a guess based on nothing other than my memory of a handful of other random movies. Revenue $50m and budget $10m.

I can’t understand how this movie got 5.7 on IMDB and 57% on Rotten Tomatoes. I’m guessing that a few people saw it in September 2012 and then, this movie vanished into thin air. Until I saw it.

Ok. What do we learn? To make a cash-grab movie you need a few things:

  1. Be timely. You should release it within one or two months of the real event you’re spoofing.
  2. Have tons of cameos. People are dumb and will not pay attention to your shitty movie for two minutes if they are excited to see some random famous actor for those two minutes.
  3. Too many producers is a double edged sword. You reduce the revenue per producer and you reduce the overall revenue because of meddling.

Movies like this should not be made. Do not watch.