Tammy and T-rex

maxresdefault

I hate it when a hand appears from the bottom to hand me a phone.

1994 was an amazing year. VCRs were getting cheap, VHS tapes were all the rage and more importantly, people loved the 1993 Jurassic Park movie. Cash grab time. We loved this movie because it was just so bad that it was good. The perfect b-movie.

The plot: Mad doctor wants to give life to a robot dinosaur and finds a guy that no one will miss. Doctor puts the guy’s brain in the robot, it comes to life, causes chaos, dies, movie ends. But who cares about the plot? Everything is memorable and the stupidity doesn’t end. Here is most of what we remember:

  • The mad doctor is Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s
  • The Rex is has a large base to keep it from tipping over. So the rex never moves and they always have some bad disguise to hide the base.
  • The thought they can just remove the brain and put it in another body so they go out picking dead bodies the way you do the 90’s clothes picking montages.
  • Most shots where you cant see the scale of his tiny hands has hands that appear from impossible places.
  • Rex’s ears are below his mouth
  • Rex picks up his fallen friend and dusts him off
  • Rex eats a bully
  • The bully is somehow the owner of Tammy
  • Tammy’s father lets the bully and his gang in the house instead of locking the door and calling the cops
  • Bully puts Paul walker in the boot of his car and drops him off in a lion park
  • Paul walker dies in this movie
  • Paul walker is now just a brain in a tub of water because the Rex is dead (why didn’t they just fix it? It’s just a robot).
  • Paul walker gets drunk when alcohol is poured directly over his brain.
  • Paul walker wants to see Denise Richard do a strip tease and voice his frustration. Why? The striptease will only make it worse. He has no body.
  • The striptease was known as ‘the usual’ to Denise and Paul

In short, shitty story and acting made good with very memorable scenes.

Seriously. Watch this movie.