Theodore Rex

theodorerexending

1995 was a sad year for Whoopi Goldberg. The first half of the 90’s was successful where she was Guinan in Star Trek, two Sister Act movies, Ghost, Sarafina and Lion King. So how did she end up in this turd and how did this turd come into existence?

Between 1990 to 1994 there was a pretty successful (7 out of 10) series called Dinosaurs. They were canceled in 1994 probably because they ran out of ideas. So they could reuse the machines, put a new dino skin on, get a star to be a sidekick, make a feature length movie. What could go wrong?

The story is set in a place where humans and dinosaurs live in harmony and a cop (Whoopi) gets a dinosaur partner that is clumsy and they cause slapstick destruction as they solve the case. Who cares about the plot? The dialogue is concentrated turd.

After some (very little) digging, I found this that puts Whoopi at fault, she was pitched the concept, offered money, accepted it, and didn’t work. The producers sued her to do the work and fulfill her side of the deal. I’m sure the producers would have found someone else if she had said ‘no’ in the first place. She did her best with a shitty script and a robot for a co-star. I’m sure we’ve all been in that situation. You get sold a good story and when you arrive, you see its all just shitty. It works, but it will never be great. The best you can hope for is a ‘pass’. Poor Whoopi and poor movie makers. A bad team pairing.

Here’s a list of things we hated:

  • The dino tails keep knocking things over and we are not four years old.
  • All the R-rex’s had the surname of Rex
  • They ham fisted the we’re not racist ideas with “we need to pair up the rex and the human otherwise people will think that we’re speciescit [sic]”

Should you watch it? Not a chance. If you let your kids watch it, they will become monsters.