Masters of the Universe

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I’ve never liked He-Man. So I’ve don’t know who anyone is. I watched this and didn’t know what was going on or why anyone did anything.

From what I gather, the plot is around the blonde guy that needs to kill the skeleton guy for some reason. He has a sword, the skeleton has the same sword too. There is a rotating weapon/mcguffin/buttplug that the blonde team owns and the skeleton team needs to capture. There are two worlds too. The one with the skeleton and his ninja looking henchmen and the world with humans.

This movie is a mess. It’s like the producers had too too many ideas and too little money or focus. There’s also a feeling of no consequences when skeleton guy gets power over his world, only four people are affected. There’s no reason to even battle him. It would probably be wiser for He-Man to just jump to the earth world and walk away. It’s not like he was missing anything in his magic world.

The characters are a mess too. He-Man is clumsy as fuck. He drops his sword, the props fall on him unintentionally, dialogue is terrible, his voice sucks, his costume is hilarious and he’s so big, all his actions look silly against the other cast.

There is a dwarf guy that is the most annoying character on the planets. The voice, the words, the mannerisms will make you want to murder the people that are watching this shit with you.

So its a mess, nothing is good, nothing redeeming. Ok, the score is redeeming. It was make by Bill Conti, the guy that did all of the Rocky movies. Back to the movie. Why was it made? Its 1987 and its two years after the cartoon series ended. It ran for two seasons and it was successful. It was made by Mattel, in 1981, to sell toys and was pretty successful. The cartoon ran for three years and by the end of it the toy line seems to be losing steam. Mattel though that a live action movie would boost sales. For some reason they gave Cannon $22m and the original toy material and not the cartoons. So there were characters missing between the cartoon and movie. This movie was a failure and only made $17m and the toys stopped production in 1988, a year after the movie was made. So there we have it, it was made to market the toys. Cannon would try in 1989 to cash on the asset by making a cheap sequel called ‘Masters of the Universe: Cyborg’, but Mattel wanted too much for the rights. So Cannon changed a bit of the story and called it ‘Cyborg’. We watched before and here is the review.

This movie makes the biggest sin, its boring. Do not watch.