Scanner Cop


The 90s movie that looks like an 80s.

In 1994 a bunch of nobodies made a movie that no one saw. They had to wait 22 years for a bunch of idiots like us to watch it. So this is the basic story. There is a guy that has telepathic powers. He gets shot and as he dies, he sees that his son has it too. Some cop adopts the son. Then there is a killer on the loose who used to experiment on people and he is an ex cop. This baddie was shot in the head by the cop who adopted the kid. Now the baddie is out for revenge. Instead of directly confronting the always-exposed good cop, he decides to hire a transvestite to kidnap people to brain wash then into thinking that a target is actually an insect that they hate so that they think that they are killing an insect when in reality they are actually killing the target. The son is grown up now and is a also a cop. He uses telepathic powers to read the mind of the killer moments before they killed. This exposed the insect plan. Then, for some reason, he hears the transvestite on a phone call several hundred meters away and chases her. She gets hit by a car and as she is dying, she telepathises [sic] her and finds out that the baddie is who he is. They go after him and kill him. Done. Lets understand the stupid shit now.

  • The police force used to experiment on people. Let this sink in. In this universe, the police make so much money that they need to R&D telepathy.
  • Thats another point. Telepathy is a regular service that cops use. They even call it “psionic”. Its all very matter-of-fact. Yeah we use a psionic, why wouldn’t we, noobs.
  • Then, during the son’s father death, three plastic baby heads burst out of his head. Why? This had nothing to do with anything.
  • Why did the bad guy think insects was the best trigger? Why did he need to change the insect at every victim? Why can you use the same poor ant for every victim?
  • The tranny and the baddie hid their lair behind a psychic shop. And the tranny did psychic things with tarot cards. They never explain if she is any good at being a tarot card reader or predicting the future. Just as well though, because she dies. Guess she didn’t see that coming. Idiot.
  • There is a few good special effects in the movie, like two head explosions. Other effects are veins that pop out of peoples faces. But did we expect the veins to be in the right place? Nope, According to this movie, we have cheek veins and forehead veins.
  • Oh, and this kid is not only is able to predict the future, read the past, over hear people’s thoughts at a distance, hear their thought while touching them, but, he can also predict who is a potential victim. This is what they call scanning and that’s why he is the scanner cop.
  • The scanner can hold a computer and make his MSpaint draw a person from a humpty dumpty image. Neato.
  • There is a sequel. Scanner Cop II.

This movie runs for 1hr and 40 mins. It should have been 1h30m. The good movies are always 90mins.

And its kind of boring. There is a bare minimum of shit to be included in a shit movie list, but its clutching at straws.

Why was it made? They had a budget, so they spent it all on effects. They didn’t have any famous A or B stars. Story is good enough. According to a comment I read on IMDB, this is a continuation of a 1981 movie by David Cronenberg called Scanners. IMDB says the David did the characters of this movie too. hmmm. I dont know. He waited 13 years? Nah. There was a 1992 movie called Psychic. So we just dont know.

Watch it. But put it on the bottom of your list.