Oh dear. This is our 100th bad movie. We can’t call ourselves serious b-movie fans unless we watched a cinematic genius for this special event.
In 2013, Neil Breen made Fateful Findings. The plot starts with him being a writer with writers block, then he has a marriage thats in trouble, then he’s a hacker, then he’s fighting off a stalking teen girl, then he is helping a suicide friend, then he saves the world with a speech. I’m pretty sure that this is one of those movies where each person that watches it, would have a different interpretation.
The usual Breen treatment is stock footage, stock audio, bad acting, bad screenplay, incoherent story, bad pacing, bad sound effects, several broken laptops and cellphones, awkward interactions and the phrase “governments and corporations”.
There’s no point in trying to figure out the plot or why this was even made. I will try to list all the moments of what-the-fuckery:
- Neil shows us his ass again.
- He is crossing a road alone but some shots show that there are people next to him and a traffic signal.
- He is hit by a car (the same Rolls from Double Down), and is given some pills. These are probably pain killers or anti-biotics. His wife is secretly takes these pills. Why? There is no reason for he to do this. No established mental problems either.
- He is a 40 year old now. So scenes with him as a child should be around 30 years old. Nope, the kids are next to a 2013 Lexus SUV.
- As a kid he had a female friend. It was never established that they are very close. But as an adult, he randomly meets her, identifies that it is really her and leaves his wife for her in a matter of about a day.
- The way he identifies his new/old girlfriend was because she dropped a diary on the floor. The diary only has one entry. “It’s a magical day”. From 30 years ago. Diagonally across the page. Firstly, thats a waste of paper. It’s written as if she will never forget the details of the day. The rest of the book looks pretty new. 30 year old notebooks usually become a bit yellow. And she’s supposed to be a doctor. Retard.
- His wife overdoses on the pills and dies. She didn’t look convincing. All she needed to do was put pills in her mouth and fall asleep. She didn’t want to put the pills in her mouth and the whole scene looked like a bad magician fucking up.
- His friend who has a Ferrari in his garage is always wiping the mirrors. This friend’s wife shoots him and then places the gun and a new bullet next to the body to make it look like a suicide.
- His friend has a daughter that has the keys to Breen’s home and she comes in and swims topless while smiling at Breen.
- Then she comes to Breen’s house to shower.
- I almost forgot that the new Breen girlfriend gets kidnapped for some reason. The kidnapper’s boss wrote down an address to take her to and then he signed the paper. Who does that?
- There are some scenes with a guy in black pants and black shoes. He appears and disappears a couple times and we didn’t know what part he played in the story.
- The end has Breen making some speech about not being greedy and corrupt. Then a business man in a business suit kills himself after saying “I should not have been so greedy and corrupt”.
- As adults Breen and new-old-doctor-girl go back to the woods where they wrote “It’s a magical day”. The see their mushroom and then they put sticks on it.
- Oh, when he meets the new-old-doctor-girl, she is randomly invited to his barbecue. She wasn’t his doctor, she just gave an opinion to his real doctor. She really had no reason to be there.
Honestly, I could go on and on and nitpick. But what would the point be in that? Neil is making a movie to entertain. And he scores a 20 out of 10. Because we spend twice as much time trying to figure it all out than actually watching it.
Should you watch this movie? HELL YEAH!
Neil, keep doing what you’re doing. We cant wait to buy your new 2016 movie Pass Thru. Check the trailer here.