Saving Christmas


You will never meet anyone as smug as this guy.

In 2014, Kirk Cameron from Family Ties is very religious and decided he could make a movie to fleece his flock. The point of this movie was that he has a family member that is disillusioned by the materialism of Christmas and Kirk convinces him to not be a grouchy mcGrouchface. Half the movie was shot in Kirk’s hallway of his house and the other half was in his driveway. He probably didn’t pay any actors because it’s ‘god’s work’ and he didn’t care if its any good as he made it because ‘god works in mysterious ways’.

The dialogue makes no sense. When grouchy asks ‘how come satan and santa have the same letters’, Kirk talks about some other shit and then has a smug face because grouchy buys into this. He might as well answer all questions using random TLC lyrics. Fucking cunt. Then, this motherfucker, spends five minutes describing how the gifts at the tree look like a city skyline. Fuck you movie. Fuck you Kirk. Also, grounchy is a dumbass for thinking that letters being rearranged is significant. Wake up grouch. You’re an adult. Sometimes good things and bad things share the same letters.

This movie made us really angry. It was 80 minutes long and could probably be done in 10 minutes. But lets go further, he’s not actually spreading a message or teaching something new or re-interpreting something old. Nothing. He says the same shit as every other kids movie except in a more sloppy way. I think it was a cash grab. He is starting something here and I think he will make a lot of money regardless of the quality of the content. All he has to do, is to tell his religious friends to watch it because he made it for them. They probably won’t even tell him “hey dude, your saving christmas movie was kinda shit”.

The only reason I think that his fans are a flock of sheep is because Kirk once told them to go to Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB (or both) and rate the movie. Naturally they would give it favorable ratings.

His next movie is scheduled for 2017. Obviously its going to be religious. Obviously he would ask some Chinese farmers to write the script using Engrish. Obviously no attention would be paid to any aspect of the movie. Obviously he would make a shit ton of money.

Maybe in 2030 he would come clean and admit that it was all a scam. Here’s a Lincoln quote. I almost never do quotes, but this is relevant. “You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.”

Don’t watch this shit. It will anger you.