After Earth


“How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?” – Jaden Smith

There’s these humans. They left Earth a few thousand years ago to a new planet. Now Will Smith is in an army and he is traveling somewhere with family. For no reason, his spaceship is hit and he land on earth. He is injured and so his son needs to run around the planet and do things. Will is play the part of a father that hasn’t been with his family for a long time. He plays it well. Almost too well. He treats his son like a soldier and the son is fucked up because of it. The son tries so hard to impress that he almost dies in the process of going from one place to another place. The is mention of a battle technique called “ghosting” where you pretend that you have no fear because, for some reason, the animals can literally smell or see fear. If you have no fear, you’re invisible. This is retarded. Why aren’t the animals walking into walls all the time? Do walls fear animals? How would someone scientifically test for fear? Its not a chemical. You probably have a higher heart rate but thats it.

Then the kid has these Oreo shaped asthma pumps. Why isn’t asthma cured in the future? The pumps are single use and the size of an Oreo. Why isn’t it smaller? Why isn’t it embedded into the suit? Why does the suit have only 4 servings? The only explanation is bad screen writing.

The names are also needlessly foreign. Kitai Raige and father Cypher Raige with sister Senshi and mother Faia. What the hell. They could have been called Will, Jaden, Willow and Jada and the movie would have not been worse. Probably would have improved because when you introduce strange names from people that were based off earth people, you need to explain how the names evolved from Latin or Roman or whatever names to this strange world.

From IMDB, it looks like M Night Shayamalan and Will Smith met up one day decided to make a movie for the heck of it. Ok, thats on them then. The plot is simple but you have shot after shot of Jaden running and jumping and shouting the father and getting asthma and it goes on. They could have made the story better but they probably didn’t think they needed help. This is what happens when you’re too rich. You think you’re too good.

It made $60m and costs $130m. Bit of a stinker. Where did the money go? Sony probably paid for it. Probably to build Jaden’s career as a green screen expert. Because all of this movie was made in a green screen. M Night probably was paid a shit-ton. He normally makes his own scripts. This was made by Will using Sony money.

This is a stupid 2013 movie with no redeeming qualities. Avoid it.