The movie’s name is Steel. The main guy is Irons. The sidekick is Sparks. But none of this matters because Shaq is a likable guy. Even the bad guys like having him around.

This movie is about a guy that makes weapons and doesn’t like what the buyers of the weapons intend to do with the weapons. He quits, he makes his own weapons in a junkyard, he finds out the buyers are bad guys, he stops the bad guys with his magic weapons. The only thing that could make this movie more 90’s period-correct is if they were fighting to protect demolishing a ‘rec’ centre.

So its 1997. This movie is forgettable as ever. Why was it made? Its a superhero movie in the DC universe. A bunch of Supermans were made, some Batmans. Both were moderately successful. Marvel was pumping out junk like Punisher, Fantastic Four, Captain America and all were turds. This was less of a shit-show than the 1997 Batman and Robin. The one with the bat nipples and butt-shots but it actually got a lower IMDB score. Cruel.

I think the only memorable parts of the movie were the flimsy rubber costume that Shaq had to wear. It was supposed to be a steel plated armored suit but ended up folding and deforming like rubber or foam every time he moved his face.

The Director is Kenneth Johnson and he’s written and directed a bunch of TV stuff like Alienation and V. At least he tried to make a feature film. He went back to TV after this. Someone learns a lesson.

Shaq is likeable and made Kazaam in 1996 which was just as bad as this movie. Maybe they thought they would try again to make a professional bouncing baller cross over into movies. In later movies, Shaq plays Shaq. Another person learns their lesson. According to IMDB trivia, Shaq was still a ball player during this movie. Maybe he didn’t give a fuck? But who in their right mind would be pissed off at Shaq.

It made about $2m or $3m but the budget to make it was about $16m. All that DC and Warner money being flushed. They don’t learn their lesson. Their next movie would be Catwoman and would be the worst movie ever made on Earth.

Watch it. Because it has Shaq.