Diamond Cartel

I love this movie. It’s not good but that’s not the point. The point is that in 2017, you can still get some big stars to act in your shit movie, pay them fuck all, and bomb at the box office.

The plot is pretty basic. There is a main bad guy and he wants to buy a diamond from another bad guy and the main guy’s workers plot to steal it and fuck ’em both over. The big names are in it for a good two minutes. Bolo Yeung from Bloodsport, Shang Tsung, Michael Madson, my favourite geriatric Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson and Tommy Lister from Star Gate. The main bad guy was played by Armand Assante. This fucking guy knocked it out of the park. What a great performance. He was bad ass and convincing. Then there was a cameo from Peter ‘o Toole. Who was so old that he died a few days after this movie was made.

This movie costs $7m and was made in Kazakhstan. It’s not good. The acting is mostly shit, the story is the best that a Kazakh person could do. The camera work was good and so was the editing. I don’t remember any music or sound effects. But we had fun watching it. You would have fun too.